one two three fourrrrnication!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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