She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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