Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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