We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
