The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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