Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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