***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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