at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
