if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think my vagina is haunted
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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