I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
