Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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