i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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