dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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