PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
