Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
