Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
