i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
