i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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