I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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