the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
