I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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