there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
