don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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