I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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