arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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