wanna go halves on a baby?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why did my mother make you get naked?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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