just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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