try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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