trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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