I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize