My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The maid of honor just puked.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
