I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
