Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
