porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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