Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
