i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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