I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
