went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
