Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
