i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
