i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
