I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
