Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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