yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize