i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i came on her dog
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
