We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize