Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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