And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
