i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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