Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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