everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
