you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
