Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize