We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
