Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize