We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
try to milk me bitch
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