I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
