You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
