but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
