i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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