if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize