Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
