My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
