Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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