dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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