try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
