happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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