I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
