it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
