We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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