Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
