Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
