I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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