so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
