I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
